From drinking regrets to peaceful drinking. How Intuitive Drinking helped me make peace with drinking.
"I’m not drinking this week” I used to say on Mondays.
And by Wednesday I was contemplating picking up wine.
It starts with a thought at some point in the day. “If I get wine, maybe I’ll make a nice pasta or a steak. Hm...should I? But I said I wasn’t drinking all week. What’s wrong with me?”
This wasn’t an unusual dialogue for me.
I felt a deep desire to cut back. It didn’t come from a place of willpower, or because I felt I “should”. I genuinely wanted to drink less. It felt like a shift in the way I viewed drinking.
I was tired of the post-drinking blahs, brain fog, and guilt. I guess I hit my "I've had enough!" point in my drinking life.
And so I decided to use the Intuitive Eating concepts, apply them to drinking, and start an Intuitive Drinking journey, both professionally and personally.
The way others describe their struggles with food was how I felt about drinking. Same thoughts “I shouldn’t…”, “What’s wrong with me?”, same feelings → guilt, shame, regret.
I learned a lot about drinking this past year. I reflected so much.
And I continue to drink. Not always moderately or mindfully. Not just on the weekend.
“Then you haven’t really changed much, have you?” you might ask.
I have. Significantly.
Alcohol stopped consuming my thoughts. I don’t hum & haw about having a drink or stopping at the liquor store. I’m not all conflicted and guilt-ridden after drinking.
If I have more than 2 drinks, sure, I won’t feel my best, but I don’t stew in self loathing.
I also drink A LOT less.
No, I’ll probably never be the person that has an alcohol-free drink at a party, or a restaurant, and yes, I look forward to having wine or beer when I know I’m gonna have it.
And yes, there are health risks associated with drinking.
And it's great if you quit drinking! Seriously. It’s not easy to know if you're that person who is better off quitting altogether. There isn't some magic number or an obvious answer to this (usually).
And if you're like me, and many of us out there, and you have desires to drink less but not sure where or how to start, read the content on my Intuitive Drinking page for inspiration.
So the before and after Intuitive Drinking version of me is both similar and so different.
The similarities are that I still drink. I’m also the same person. No better and no worse.
The difference is that I live with more peace of mind in relation to drinking. Like it’s a detail in my life, but it certainly doesn’t carry the same emotional baggage as it used to.
And the same thing happens when you heal your relationship to food. You stop being consumed by it. You move on from food obsession. You open your life up to other things, opportunities, experiences.
The “intuitive” healing process applies to food, drinking, and life in general.
At the root is an unshaming process, followed by learning to understand the reasons for your actions, like reaching for the bottle or the bag of chips. The process of understanding involves leaning into curiosity while learning to quiet the critical voice of self-judgement.
Only then can you begin to heal your relationship to food or alcohol.
Only then can you begin creating a before and after version of yourself too.
Not because the after version is better, but because she finds peace.