Hi, I'm Violeta! A nutritionist, certified intuitive eating counsellor and non-diet coach, recently turned intuitive drinker. I've been a grey-area drinker since my early 20s. Drinking in my late teens/early 20s gave me a sense of identity. I was no longer that awkward high school girl and could now give my high school days the middle finger. I was now a party girl. I had found a way out of being shy and insecure. I suddenly felt cool and like I fit in. Drinking gave me the confidence I never had.
And before I knew it these became a regular part of life....
🍷 Stopping at the liquor store on Fridays
🍷 Relaxing with a drink at the end of the day
🍷 Having a drink before supper to gain an appetite
🍷 Drinking at every single social event and vacation
🍷 Pre-drinks, post-drinks
🍷 Food pairing drinks
🍷 It's a beautiful spring day drinks
🍷 Lonely & boredom drinks
🍷 Happy & celebratory drinks
And I quickly fell down the drinking rabbit hole.
I woke up one Saturday morning and felt a desire to talk to someone about my drinking. The thought of it was scary. Not gonna lie. I didn't feel I was completely out of control or anything, but it felt like something I needed to do regardless. Having the 'tolerance of a guy' was not something I necessarily want to pride myself in. In August 2022, I read a book about a party girl and health coach (like me), and described scenarios that were all too familiar. This became my cue to distance myself from alcohol and create some boundaries, but unlike the author, I didn't give up alcohol.
I ran a short challenge in September on exploring emotions related to food and drinking. I did a whole lot of reflecting and questioning my use of alcohol and have since established a new relationship with it. One that is respectful and mindful.
Intuitive drinking is not a formal term. For me, it's been about exploring my inner world, and gaining an understanding of why I drink. Intuitive drinking is about getting curious, reflecting, and questioning some the reasons we drink. It is an internal exploration, not a set of rules to follow, like in diet culture. It's not cutting back because it's "bad for health". It's more than that. It comes from within. This is the "intuitive" aspect of this journey. It's self-trust and curiosity vs rules and judgement. And this is why I've created the Women Drink-less Intuitively program. It lives in my heart.
If you're someone like me and feel torn about your drinking, I want to say a few things to you...
You don't drink because you're out of control, or wild. You're not undisciplined or weak. You don't lack willpower. You're human - which means you're imperfect. You want to feel good, not pain nor discomfort. You want to connect to your past through your nostalgia. You long for connection and belonging. And alcohol is there for you. There is no shame in that.
And I encourage you to join me in this inner exploration.
What is intuitive drinking?
There is no formal definition. I define it as having a respectful and mindful relationship to alcohol that puts your emotional and mental well-being at the forefront, respects your physical body, and honours your authenticity
What it is & isn't
Intuitive drinking is not abstinence from alcohol, nor does it mean a person has to drink. It is, in essence, establishing a respectful relationship with alcohol which prioritizes one’s emotional and mental well-being. For some, this means not drinking at all, for others, it could mean drinking occasionally, or even regularly, but the drinking experience is mindful and respectful to self and others.
Goals
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Re-evaluate your relationship to alcohol curiously and judgement-free
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Discover or get in touch with what really inspires and motivates you in life (yes, it's easy to disconnect from that!)
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Redefine what it means to have fun
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Embrace your authentic self and get to know her
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Establish a relationship to alcohol that is mindful...or whatever feels right for you
Format
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The 8 week program is a combination of weekly reflection questions and 4 coaching sessions
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As you read in the Goals section above, the program isn't so much about drinking per se as it as about reconnecting with yourself.
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You reflect on your own life and drinking, this is your personal journey
FAQs
Q: I don't want to give up drinking. Can I do this without giving up wine?
A: Yes absolutely! The program/challenge isn't a dry one, nor is it about giving up alcohol. I do want to say, however, giving up alcohol entirely is the only option for some individuals. If you have a hard time stopping once you start every single time, then abstinence is probably your best choice. If you're in the grey area zone, where you have a few too many drinks sometimes, but are also able to moderate, then you may not need to abstain. The program/challenge is learning to establish a respectful and mindful relationship to alcohol. And you do this by creating awareness around your drinking habits.
Q: Is this program for problem drinkers only?
A: The simple answer is no. I don't love the term "problem drinker" firstly. I personally have used alcohol emotionally, drank too much on many many occasions, and I wouldn't call myself a problem drinker. Maybe someone else might (or already has). But to answer the question, you don't need to label yourself anything alcohol-wise to join. Simply, do alcohol thoughts take up a good % of brain space? Do you often ask yourself if you should have a drink tonight? Do you negotiate with yourself about sticking to a certain number of drinks on any given occasion? Are you often making rules about drinking, how much, on what days, etc.? Do you frequently experience guilt and regret from drinking? Did my marketing for this challenge spark an interest to join (because, say, a non-drinker wouldn't relate to this whatsoever)?
Q: What if it feels too hard? Can I opt-out?
A: You can certainly opt-out. Mind you, there is a no refunds policy. I do, however, encourage you not to opt-out or give up, if you're finding it hard. The program is a series of reflection questions for you to reflect on. You can still work on the questions even if you're not ready to change your drinking patterns all that much. Sometimes life feels stressful and hard. And during difficult times (especially emotionally) we seek comfort and familiarity. And wine can sure be that thing. Making changes generally requires effort and discomfort. Not a place we want to be in if we're feeling down. So it's totally understandable if you feel resistant to making changes to your drinking habits. Use this as an opportunity to get curious about your drinking. The reflecting itself will take you a long way. So no need to stress...or give up!